I really hate not being able to talk about things. It's super frustrating. Like ok. I'm just going to tell this story and fuck the consequences. Might not be any anyway. So this job floated across my radar from my roommate. She interviewed with these guys and they liked her, but she was looking for something full time, even with another part time gig this likely wouldn't be serious money. So she didn't take the position. But she told them about me and told me about them. See I don't really need income right now, but some spending money might be nice and the position would let me inch my toes in the water so to speak. Who knows really. So I decided to do an interview and they were a little touchy on the "Health" reason I left my last position. But it was fine. There was some training and guides to go through. They gave us rules about not talking on the group chats because we are not actual employees for this big company but rather some kinda subcontractor something something. Anyway. They sent us a bunch of equipment, but it all feels rather detached. Like the whole apparatus feels ancillary. We got almost nothing in terms of assignments. The job it seemed was being a paid volunteer for various studies going on. There was a marketing study that dealt with word associations for example. Not very complicated stuff, and honestly few and far between. But I did everything as it was available. I was proactive about getting access to information as it was availably. A few google docs were shared but I didn't have permission to see them. I requested permission. I messaged my pm when I had questions or was lacking information. I completed tasks the same day they were assigned and it was apparently noticeable. We started a study a couple days ago and I scheduled myself as soon as I could for the first slot. When the time came I talked with the researcher and I don't know if I showed competence or not, but I followed instructions and we ran into a snag. We ended up talking about maybe scheduling for the next day or something but we ended up in a group chat where she had me download other versions and try some login attempts to see if the problem had been fixed. I had the pages open and got back to her every time she messaged as soon as possible. Today my pm messaged me and asked if I wanted to be part of the bug finding team. I agreed. This was a kinda mind fuck because literally up to today I had been struggling with the whole concept of this team. Like did the PMS do nothing but manage these people with this little in the pipeline? Really? meanwhile the head of the whole set of offices is talking about cutting the people who aren't performing and I'm thinking the whole team I'm on is not performing are they just going to cut it? But they are like still hiring people so I'm not sure what that's about. And this fucking document they give me to read as a new member of the QA bug hunting team is like "You have been selected from among your peers because you have shown an aptitude that exceeds theirs" or some shit like that. It was honestly a bit like "PING" achievement get! unlock secret QA team that exists among all these people you have seen for literally months and didn't know at all that they were doing all this other shit behind the scenes. And how long have they had their eyes on me for being part of this other team. Oh the whole time probably? Like actually the study position is a total front and honestly it doesn't cost that much anyway, and like who cares. AH it's so freaking weird. Ok so I wake up at like 6am or something and I'm horny like usual. I had been taking my morning piss outside. I'd get myself seated in a chair in the garden, and my dick semi flaccid, just enough that I can still pull the foreskin back over the pink shiny head of the penis. The frenulum was too tight and it pulled the ureteral opening a bit even at this point, and the foreskin itself contracted and cut off the blood to allow further erecting. It could get bigger, but the foreskin was like a built in chastity belt preventing a full erecting. Once semi hard and foreskin out of the way, I'd piss. Wearing nothing but a long skirt pulled up over my breasts it was pretty easy to hike it up out of the way. And that's basically how I have pissed every day the past month or so. Semi erotic pissing out under the full light of the sun or the moon as the time indicates. I was watching this hentai this morning after my morning piss. It was about these two girls one of whom is annoyed because all her friends do is talk about sex and she hasn't had any so she can't really add to the conversation. Her other friend is like. Well I fuck my brother every day. Why don't you come over and fuck him too. So they go do that. Also I guess it turns out the parents are away for the night, so the friend stays over and the do it all night. It wasn't like the best I've seen by any means. The bitches were pretty hot, and I'm kinda into ショタ so it wasn't bad or anything. The brother sister dynamic was nice, and the personality of the sister was super hot. Kinda 黒猫 vibes. Anyway. It was fine. Nothing terribly shocking for me. But this had comments on it, pretty uncommon. And there were these two that were like "This is rape. I hope those bitches die" like really? Hmm. So anyway the older sister is totally abusing the shit out of her brother right and apparently people feel the need to comment about how it's bad or whatever. Dude. It's porn. Imagine it being whatever makes you hard. I don't know if you noticed, but there's like this whole kink dynamic in Japanese porn where the sub goes all "No, don't. Stop it" and the top goes all "But your body is so into it" or "But it looks like it feels good tho". This is a pretty interesting dynamic and it calls to the very core fundamental ideas of human existence. Is the feeling you feel the same as what I expect you to feel? No obviously not, nor is it something that is always possible to tell just by the reactions of one's body. Does it feel good? It looks like it feels good. And the answer "気持ちいい" So this loop that I just described is like common in like the majority of yuri leaning type stuff. so you'll see it in av stuff as well. But oh no now it's a boy instead of a girl and suddenly people gotta complain about it. Are you serious? Like sure he looks like he's 12. And these bitches what? 16? Are you complaining at the lack of agency of this kid? Imaginary kid. Not even real. Invented purely to fit "Little brother architype" . Worried that the kid isn't going to get his homework done and have time to watch spongebob? to fuck around on his phone? To jerk off to hentai alone in his room? What? If this kid can cum 3 times and still be hard to penetrate that bitch it comes from some serious training. So you know he's doing it at school between classes or at lunch. He probably got caught by his sister masturbating to her once and that's how it all started. Who knows. Not me. But I can imagine myriad forms. The fact is you bring your own interpretation of realty to these things. Anime leaves out a lot of details thus it's easy for an individual to fill in those gaps with a reflection of their own experience. It appeals more to a vivid imagination. Of course there are those which are beautiful in the own right. Another point is that most of this is created with the idea in mind that it is almost certainly not for you. Flip a coin 4 times. All heads? Ok you might like it then. So if you find yourself watching something that's clearly "NOT FOR YOU" and you know it. Why do you continue? Why do you complain about it? Why bother? Who cares? Move the fuck on. I mean unless what you really like is finding something controversial just so you can have the sport of arguing about it online. But like.... That's what twitter is for. Have fun there. Or better yet, go to mastodon. I suppose I was right about the uselessness of the whole group. Or maybe we just didn't meet their true expectations? Not long after joining the group there began to circulate rumors. "Parent company is going to be down sizing" "Budget cuts" and the like. Of course this had members of the group rightfully concerned as it always felt as if the group itself was part of an unneeded branch within the larger org. So if cuts were needed it might make sense to cut the whole set of projects we belonged to. And this is indeed what happened. .